Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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