My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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