my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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