it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
