i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
