Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
