Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize