I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Are we still banned from the library?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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