He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
