yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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