I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
