Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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