not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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