; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
