its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
