dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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