just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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