I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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