people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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