Plan B is the new Plan A
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
