just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize