I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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