Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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