Someone shit on the floor
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize