the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
