just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
