Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
