i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
