so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
