im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize