party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
