just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
