the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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