My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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