Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us

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(707): View more from California

I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks

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(630): View more from Illinois

He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes

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