I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize