maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
