There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Floor bacon is actually really good
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
His nipple licking is glorious
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