i was born a porn star she said
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
