dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
