I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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