I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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