The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
