white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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