I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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