Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
