one might say we're banned from that church
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
