in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
