As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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