if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
