Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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